What About Your Friends?

Telling my friends had to be the most difficult piece of this puzzle for me to navigate. 

I wasn't sure what the right way to "announce my news" to them was. 

Nowadays, you hit up Pinterest and there are ways to announce everything to the world, so clearly I had to be super cheeky and adorable when I tell my friends I have Breast Cancer.

Also, who makes the first distribution list? Do I call people? What is the best method? There is no right answer to this question, so I just decided to do what felt best.

I wanted to have my first doctor's appointment with my Breast Surgeon and Plastic Surgeon, before I told the masses. 

My friends would undoubtedly have question after question, and many of them I would not be able to answer with the limited info that I had. 

I guess I was also secretly hoping that Ashton would jump out from behind an exam table and say "Guess what? Punkd is back !"

So after my first meet and greet with about a billion people from Physician's Assistants, to Nurses, to Schedulers and Genetic Counselors, and a confirmed surgery date to boot, I decided to get a mass text going. Keep in mind I had told people a little bit of info here and there about my Mammograms and Biopsies, so this was not completely coming out of left field. 

My exact text read as follows:

"Hey everybody..  if you are getting this, then you are in my Cancer Circle. Cool!

I am gonna start by saying do not reply to all here. same rules apply to texts. It is just bad for biz. If you have follow up questions or additional inspirational texts or memes you'd like to send, do that separate. 

So, thank you for being my pals. I know I haven't really reached out or felt like talking, but yeah, that is the way it goes when a bomb gets dropped. I love and appreciate you all so much. Know that. 

Here goes:

I have a confirmed surgery date of March 29. I have 2 weeks to cram all of my workouts and general debauchery before I am laid up for 2-3 weeks. 

I will be having a double mastectomy. Go big or go home. So basically, I only have cancer in my left breast, but I am having the right removed, because why not? I am already on the table. (Seinfeld voice)

Surgery will be at Mt. Sinai. That means nothing to you non New Yorkers. 

As far as treatment after, I won't know what that looks like until after surgery. 

Staging is determined after surgery as well. Why after? Because they take a few lymph nodes to make sure nothing has spread. On my MRI and tests, my nodes look clear, but they only way to know for sure is that test. 

What type of cancer do I have? DCIS. Ductal Carcinoma in Situ. Look it up if you'd like. The good news is the majority of my cancer is non invasive, which means it is staying put and not spreading. 

The area does measure 6cm, however which is a pretty large area, hence why I am going for a mastectomy. 

Hmm what else? For updates on the day, please text Steve. I will be knocked the fuck out. (Friday reference)

Anyways, this is long. Bottom line, I am not dying yet. Please don't treat me like I am. I love you guys. 

Also, feel free to forward this on to anyone I missed that would value this info. Looks like Apple won't let me add any other names. "

So there you have it. I tried to stay true to my hip hop/pop culture referencing self, while dropping major knowledge. 

Do you. That's it.