Hard Knock (ers) Life: Part 1

The decision for me to have a Double Mastectomy came pretty easy for me, all things considered. I am not particularly ride or die with my breasts, although they have gotten me out of a speeding ticket or two in my more youthful days... (#humblebrag) 

I was only diagnosed with cancer in my left breast, and I also tested negative for the BRCA mutation. That said, my gut told me to make it a double. I was already going in for major surgery, so why would I want to potentially endure that again if heaven forbid I ended up getting cancer in my right breast in the future. 

This is a personal choice, and I am by no means trying to sway people either way. This process can be more traumatic for some people. I was surprisingly so pragmatic about this decision, as the alternative for me was a lifetime of worry and WebMd diagnosis. 

In the weeks leading up to my surgery, I would classify myself as going through major denial. I was working, going out for drinks, and basically acting like I wasn't about to have a life changing surgery. 

Days leading up to the surgery, however -- different story. 

Quick story- I had to return my laptop and iPhone to my former employer the day before my surgery. I did not want to go in, as I had just let the social media vortex know about my surgery, so things were definitely abuzz. I asked a very trusted former colleague and friend to meet me outside so that I wouldn't have to face all of the questions and sad looks. 

I will never forget walking down Madison Avenue and sobbing as I made the transfer of company technology to my friend and him looking at me saying "You're gonna do this, and you are gonna move on." 

So the denial portion of our program was officially over. We had a good run. 

Side note, sobbing on Madison Avenue is not something I wanted to check off my bucket list. Big ups to Celine for my sunglasses that at least made me look chic as f--k, though. 

So from a logistics perspective, how did I prep for surgery?

If I can recommend one thing to you it would be PILLOWS. You will see what I mean. 

You can't sleep on your side for awhile, so you will definitely want to get body pillows, and I actually really loved this mastectomy pillow from Etsy that gives you a place to rest your arms, because you will not want to lift those up at all. 

Other than that, I ordered plenty of zip up hoodies, and button up shirts for the same reason. You want something you don't have to pull over your head, because that is frowned upon. 

I also cleaned my apartment as if we were expecting the Royal Family. I didn't want to have to think about that while recovering, nor rely on Steve to clean either. 

I took what would be my last shower for a week-- yep, you can't shower with your drains in, so get ready to see how much your partner really loves you. #spongebath

Other than that, I tried to get a good nights sleep before surgery because that is a LONG day of waiting on top of waiting. 

The waiting is definitely the hardest part.