Return of the Mack

January has been an interesting month. Well, let’s back up. January is ALWAYS an interesting month. It can be a real mindfuck. You are trying to essentially be a better version of yourself. Hitting that gym, or updating that resume. Maybe you are obsessing over Marie Kondo and The KonMari Method. January tries to put all of our shortcomings on blast. Dang, am I really that cynical?

So imagine January for a newly introduced to “normal life” cancer patient. No amount of Marie Kondo’s adorable little A-line skirts can untangle this web. I am trying to put into practice all of the things I learned from cancer. I am trying to slow down. I am trying to be more mindful. I am trying to manage my anxiety. I am trying to say no more. I am trying to say yes more. I am thanking my body and listening to its cues.

But, check it — then there’s the little devil on my shoulder that looks a lot like Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly. She is very disappointed in me, obviously. She’s telling me I have a business to run. She is telling me that I am never going to grow that business if I don’t hustle my ass of. I have to make up for lost time, here. Wait, you aren’t going to pick up that email on Saturday morning? What kind of entrepreneur are you? Right now, there is no way that Miranda would be taking me to Paris with her. Nope. I would most certainly be Emily eating pudding in a hospital bed.

As I am wrestling with all of these thoughts, I get a very exciting email from TheSkimm. We were in conversations at the end of the year about featuring my blog as their Skimm’r of the Week. It was originally going to be featured in February, but they had an opening in their calendar, and so they wanted to put C.D.R.E.A.M in! I was elated. I worked tirelessly to make some small updates to the site with my web designer to ensure that readers would get the best first impression of yours truly.

When the feature came out, it was incredible. So many people started reaching out and sending me messages. I was gaining a new following on Instagram. I was continuing to build credibility. But most importantly, people that need me were finding me. The amount of messages and emails I received thanking me for my honesty and information was off the hook. I saved all of them for when I am sad. This is the reason I started the blog in the first place.

I may not be in treatment right now. I might be considered N.E.D for now. (No evidence of disease) However, I still have a story to tell. I will always have a story to tell. In fact, the story is just beginning. So I am going to silence the Miranda Priestly on my shoulder as much as I can. I have to. Figuring out my my new normal isn’t going to be easy, but it needs to happen. My life depends on it.